Alternative Fuels and the Price of Gas.

I was asked the other day what I think about Alternative Fuels.

I think we can build a car to run on the ground up bodies of green peace people and the tree huggers that won’t let us build refineries or drill for our own oil. Maybe we could use the executives at the oil companies to grind up for fuel. I just think when you pull into a gas station, the sign shouldn’t say Regular: Arm & Leg, Premium: First Born Child. I pulled into one station the sign didn’t have a price, it just said: If you have to ask you can’t afford it. I know its hard to afford gas at these prices, I had to sell my wife’s car just to buy gas for my car. Some people are making their own fuel out of cooking oil, but how many French fries can you eat in a day. There’s a New Hybrid car looming on the horizon. You can either have green peace people push you around or it can be pulled by a team of Caribou. It’s called a wagon.

Rock n Roll Vs Fashion

In the news today:
Bad Boy Rocker Axle Rose was bitch slapped into a daze by fashion mogul Tommy Hilfiger. Rose took Hilfiger’s dates drink. Hilfiger said nothing to Rose about the incident. Rose started to drink the drink and Hilfiger jumped up and started smacking Rose over and over again. Hilfiger was stated as saying who’s the bitch now? Next time you want a drink you’ll buy one bitch. Rose never said a word, but it’s noted Rose cried like a bitch. Spokesperson for the Hilfiger camp was stated as saying, he’s lucky I didn’t scratch his eyes out. Rose’s camp says Axle just wants to get on with his drinking and drug abuse, and just put this incident behind him.

Space Shuttle Discovery

In the news today:

Space Shuttle Discovery moves to launch pad Friday. NASA says its ready to try space travel again. NASA spokesman said we got all these rockets just lying around and all these astronauts. Lets put something together and give these people a show. Scientists at NASA say hey it`s just rocket science, not like we`re going to the moon or anything. Shuttle crew says we`ve been training for this mission for years, and would like to actually perform the mission before we`re to old to go. NASA says it doesn`t like to send the elderly into space, but since John Glenn went every old fuck thinks he can become an astronaut. NASA said they would like to send a biker into space but their offer was declined. Biker was quoted as saying there's no way I`m going, you know how I feel about wearing a helmet. NASA says launch should go as planed.

Keith Richards Falls From Tree

In the news Yesterday: it was stated that Keith (I`m a stoner) Richards of the Rolling Stones has fallen out of a Palm tree chasing after a coconut and landed on his coconut. Doctors say if Richards wasn`t already medicated he wouldn`t have been in the tree. At the hospital Keith was stated as saying, I wanted one of those coconuts to drink out of. So I thought its right there and I`m right here. Now where the bloody hell am I an where is my coconut drink.

Are Gas Prices Effecting Crime?

In the news This Week: CRIME AND GAS PRICESCrime has dropped due to high gas prices. Drive byes are almost a thing of the past. A gang banger quoted as saying( who the hell could steal a car at these prices, run out of gas and get caught) no more hot pursuits. You better rob a bank or gas station, or a getaway is out of the question. The use of the hillbilly credit card(A hose and a gas can) is springing up all over the country. Homeless people are pissed off by people taking there spots with signs that say will work for gas. Women have lobbied to have the marrige vows changed to Love, Honer and keep the gas tank filled. The head of Exxon-Mobil said today that he would not lower gas prices even if hell freezes over, and if it does, the price for heating oil in hell will skyrocket.